How do you make ice cream better?  Add bourbon and bacon to it, that’s how.  I don’t know why I haven’t thought of this before, but I have to thank yesterday morning’s Paula’s Best Dishes on Food Network for the inspiration.  After going and looking at the recipe online, I decided I could probably take it up a notch.  And I did!

When a recipe calls for pieces of bacon, and it says to cook the bacon and then chop it into bits, I always cut the raw bacon up into about 1/2 inch bits and fry them up in a frying pan.  I feel like this gives me more uniform bits of bacon in both size and crispiness.  If you want to do your bacon bits differently, feel free, but here’s what I did.

WHAT YOU NEED TO MAKE THE CANDIED BACON BITS:

• 6 strips of bacon
• 2 teaspoons light brown sugar

WHAT YOU DO:

1. Cut the slices of bacon down the middle length-wise and then into about 1/2 inch squares.
2. Add bacon to a frying pan and cook over medium head, using a spatula to break up the chunks of bacon and keep them from burning.  You want the bacon to be really crispy, so cook until almost done.
3. When the bacon is almost done, sprinkle bacon with 2 teaspoons of brown sugar and stir continuously to dissolve the brown sugar.
4. Remove bacon from the pan, drain, and let bacon cool on a paper towel covered plate.  (The bacon isn’t going to seem traditionally crispy when hot, but it will crisp up when it cools)

WHAT YOU NEED TO MAKE THE ICE CREAM:

• 3 tablespoons salted butter
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar (you can use light or dark brown sugar.  I used light brown because it’s what I had on hand)
• 2 3/4 cup half and half
• 5 large egg yolks
• 2 teaspoons bourbon (The key to cooking with bourbon – or any alcohol, for that matter – is to use what you would drink.  If it’s not good enough for you to make a cocktail with, don’t cook with it)
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

WHAT YOU DO:

1. 24 hours before you want to make the ice cream, place your ice cream maker bowl in your freezer.
2. Melt butter in medium sized, heavy sauce pan.  Whisk in the brown sugar and 1/2 of the half and half.
3. Pour the remaining half and half in a bowl.  Place a mesh strainer over the bowl.
4. In a separate bowl, stir the egg yolks together.  Gradually add some of the warm brown sugar mixture, whisking the yolks continuously while you add the brown sugar mixture.  This is called “tempering” the eggs, and we do this to make sure that the yolks don’t scramble when they are added to the heat.
5. Pour the egg/brown sugar mixture back into the sauce pan while whisking continuously.
6. Cook over low to moderate heat, stirring continuously with a heatproof spatula until the custard thickens enough to coat the spatula
7. Pour the custard through the strainer to be added to the remaining half and half.
8. Add liquor, vanilla and cinnamon.  Whisk together.
9. Refrigerate mixture until thoroughly chilled.
10. Freeze in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
11. Add the bacon bits during the last moments of churning, or stir the bits in when you remove the ice cream from the machine.
12. Place in containers and freeze for at least 4 hours.
13. Take pictures of you eating the bacon ice cream and post all over Instagram and Facebook to make your friends jealous

Everyone knows a $20 blender isn’t worth the box it’s packaged in.  I’ve never seen one be able to make a margarita, or even puree a good marinade.  And to be quite honest, the $100 blenders I’ve spent any time with aren’t much better.  This is why for ages I’ve been drooling over a Vitamix.  These puppies are the end-all-be-all of blenders.  Yes, it has a hefty price tag, but it’s a hefty blender!  It makes the most amazing smoothies and turns snow into ice with the flick of a switch.  Amazeballs…

I spent a lot of time hinting to my husband about wanting one, and I know it didn’t go unnoticed, but I also know that he’s the sensible one in our family when it comes to large purchases, and I’m sure he realized that my immediate desire for the best smoothy in the world would eventually wan and it would take 10 years to make enough smoothies and margaritas to justify spending a car payment on a blender.  Why does he have to be so damn practical?!  Sigh.

At this point I went on a mission to find a blender that would meet my needs at a lower price point.  After hours of research and reading reviews, both good and terrible, I decided to order the Ninja Kitchen System 1100 from Amazon and give it a try.

I was shocked!  It was amazing.  The first test was filling it with ice and seeing if it made it into snow.  Yup, snow was made effortlessly.  Like so effortlessly that I had to show everyone that came over to my house for at least a week.  Look at my amazing shaved ice machine, peeps!  It also makes the smoothest of smoothies ever.  My morning smoothy consists of 1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk, a scoop of vanilla whey protein powder, 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of Truvia, and frozen strawberries.  I use the frozen strawberries instead of fresh because they are easy to keep and they give my smoothies a frozen milkshake consistency I can’t duplicate when using fresh (unless I freeze them, obvi).  Anyway, the issue I’ve had with previous blenders is that the frozen strawberries are hard on the motor and they never get fully pureed and my smoothies were always chunky.  With the Ninja, my smoothies are silky smooth at the push of a button.  I’m in love.

The only issue I found when doing research (with the exception of those people who write terrible reviews because they hate the world) was that the Ninja doesn’t last FOREVER like a Vitamix or a KitchenAid mixer.  Okay, so I might have to replace it in 10 years.  I’m okay with that.  And in 10 years, hopefully I won’t find it as shocking to my bank account to invest $500 in a Vitamix.  So the bottom line?  The Vitamix is the way to go if you want to splurge, but if your investment level is less than that, get the Ninja.  You won’t be sorry.

Sunday was a sad day in our household when the 49ers beat the Falcons for a trip to the Super Bowl.  I had a mild case of the “End of Another Falcons Season” blues, but I snapped out of it and started thinking about what we were going to do for our Super Bowl Party!  I love to step up my parties by not just making the best football game snacks around, but also by thinking of the little things…like football shaped cookies, cakes, dips, etc.  I am in LOVE with my Wilton 4 Piece Football Cookie Cutter Set, my Football Chip and Dip Server, and my adorable Football Baking Cups. They add a nice touch to any Super Bowl Party!

Check out all of my favorite game day entertaining ideas!

It’s finally fall!  And in the South, “Fall” is synonymous with FOOTBALL (in our house it’s Georgia Bulldogs, Oregon Ducks and the Atlanta Falcons football, to be exact).  We have season tickets to the Falcons and I look forward all year to that first tailgate.  We do it right – a flat screen to watch the other games, 2 sets of cornhole boards, a Falcons tent…and most importantly, great food.  Last night was the first home game of the regular season (the Falcons CRUSHED Manning and the Broncos!) and our tailgate put out quite a spread.  My girlfriend, Laurie, and her hubby are the mastermind behind our tailgate crew, and they usually organize the food.  This week was a delicious jambalaya, wings and salad.  I decided to make a dessert to offset all that savory goodness.  This week I whipped up amazing Mr. Pibb Chocolate Cupcakes.

This recipe is a version of a recipe I found on Pinterest that I changed up to make even better!  First of all, I used Mr. Pibb instead of Dr. Pepper (T would flip out if there was anything other than Coca-Cola products in our house).  Secondly, I corrected the frosting ratios and spice ratios to make the frosting recipe a little more useful.

WHAT YOU NEED FOR THE CUPCAKES:

• 1 box of Chocolate Cake Mix (whatever cake mix you want)
• 1/2 Cup of melted butter (1 stick)
• 3 eggs
• 1 Cup Mr. Pibb

WHAT YOU NEED FOR THE ICING:

• 1/2 Cup Butter (room temp)
• 1 lb bag of Powdered Sugar
• 3 Tablespoons Mr. Pibb
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 teaspoons Maraschino cherry juice (from a jar of Maraschino cherries)
• 2 dashes VERY, VERY, VERY finely ground pepper
• 1 dash ground nutmeg
• 1 dash ground ginger
• 1 dash ground cinnamon

WHAT TO DO:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• Combine all cake ingredients with either an electric mixer or your Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, fitted with the whisk attachment.
• Pour batter into a cupcake pan, lined with cupcake liners.  Because you are using batter with carbonated soda in it, don’t fill the liners up quite as full as you normally would – these cupcakes EXPAND!
• Bake for 12-13 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.
• Let cupcakes cool for 10 minutes in the cupcake pan, then transfer to a cooling rack to cool completely before frosting.

• To make the frosting, put room temperature butter in the bowl of an electric stand mixer, fitted with a paddle attachment.  Beat on a SLOW speed.
• Slowly combine powdered sugar.  Do not add all at once, or you’re going to have a powdered sugar mess on your hands!
• Add the wet ingredients.
• Slowly increase speed till the frosting is fluffy.
• Add spices with the mixer still on.  Continue mixing till thoroughly combined.
• Taste and adjust spices to taste.  Frosting is supposed to taste reminiscent of Mr. Pibb.
• Transfer frosting to an icing piping bag OR a ziplock bag.  If you are using an icing piping bag, pipe icing onto cupcakes.  If you are using a ziplock bag, squish frosting down into one corner of the bag.  Cut off the corner and use the ziplock bag the same way you would use an icing piping bag to pipe icing onto the cupcakes.
• Shovel into your mouth.

My overwhelming problem with dieting is that I LOVE to eat.  I love to find new recipes and put my culinary talents to the test.  I love having people over for dinner parties and seeing my friends enjoy the food I’ve prepared.  Okay, so honestly, a part of it is that I love being complimented on my cooking prowess (I mean, really, who doesn’t?!).  But anyway, back to the diet debacle.  I try to do everything in moderation, but it’s SOOOOO hard!  Am I right?!

When I was in college, I was a huge devotee of the Atkins Diet, and I dropped weight instantly without feeling hungry…but the downfall was that one fateful day when I could not control myself while walking past the dreaded bread isle in the grocery store.  The smell was so delicious and overwhelming, I couldn’t help myself!  And in that instant, I was off the wagon.  At first, it was just a “treat” and my jeans still fit, but then the “treats” became part of every meal and my prized size 2 jeans were a thing of the past.  I felt like a failure.  I felt weak.  I mean, I knew what it took to wear those jeans, yet the idea of bread and potatoes, and the desire to shovel it into my mouth was more powerful than my desire to rock a super skinny sized skinny jean.

The problem, I realized, was I was thinking of how I was eating as “diet”, rather than a lifestyle.  But living a lifestyle that basically says, “NO CARBS!” is really difficult to make work.

There are a million “diets” out there – from the hip and trendy, to the tried and true.  But my search is less about “diet” and more about how to lose/maintain a healthy weight over the long term, while still being able to create incredible meals for my family and friends, and not feeling as if I am withholding something from myself because I know I’m going to break down at some point.  This is why I am loving the slow carb/paleo, or “caveman” diet.  Basically, it’s the idea that if your ancestors didn’t eat it, neither should you.  Common sense stuff – meats, vegetables, using vanilla extract or agave to sweeten instead of sugar or aspartame, nuts, fruits, etc.  This isn’t rocket science, but it is a different way of thinking than our generation has grown accustomed.

I gave up Diet Coke about a month ago.  And for those of you who know me, that’s a HUGE deal.  It really wasn’t as hard as I thought it was.  The hardest thing has been remembering to take one of my fancy new travel cups with the straws with me when I go places.  It helps keep me from grabbing a soda.  I am, however, allowing myself to have a diet coke when I go out to lunch with my mom, or when T & I have cocktails, but that means I’m having one or two sodas a week, instead of one or two before lunch every day.  The difference has been amazing.  My skin has a new glow, I’ve had several people comment that I’m nicer (what?!) and “less on edge”, I sleep better, I wake up easier, and the craziest thing is that I feel like I have so much more energy than I did when I was overloading my body with caffeine!  Strange, right?!

I’m not going to say I’m the poster child for this type of lifestyle.  I’m still learning.  I’m still working on looking at a menu and thinking to myself what I should or shouldn’t order.  I’m still trying to figure out what side dishes will work for dinner (God knows I love any dish that combines potatoes and cheese!).  But it’s also been really exciting and challenging to go through my cookbooks with new eyes and look at what would work, what is a recipe of the past, etc.  And that also means I have an excuse to get new cookbooks!  A girl can never have too many cookbooks, right?!

But the great thing about this lifestyle plan is you really don’t need a specific cookbook, but rather some resources to make good decisions.  The book I’m dying to get is the 4 Hour Chef Book, which is written by the lovely and amazing Tim Ferriss.  It’s everything from recipes, to tips and tricks from chefs, to ways to cut down your time in the kitchen, allowing you to spend more time enjoying life.  If you’ve already gotten the book, let me know what you think of it!

And if you have any tips on how to be successful at the slow carb/paleo lifestyle, I could use the support!!!

x

We’re about half way through the season at this point.  How the hell did that happen?!  Usually at this juncture, the ridiculousness has been weeded out and every show is do or die for the finalists, but this season, I can see at least 2 or 3 more weak links that need to get voted off before we really see a group of finalists that stand a chance at winning this competition.

Before we got to the actual challenge this week, the mentors had one on one sessions with their finalists in an attempt to show them what the judges are seeing.  About half of the finalists really understood what the mentors were saying.  The other half were nodding and saying things like, “sure” and “gotcha”, but you could see the blank stares and realize nothing was sinking in.

Alton told Martie she needed to basically STFU.  Stop babbling.  Martie then went on a babbling whirlwind that almost sent Alton over the edge.  Good lawd!  I can’t tell if she’s stupid, or what.  When Alton Brown tells you to get to the frickin’ point, you don’t go on a talking binge to let Alton know his message about not babbling has really sunk in.  I wonder if what she needs is some ADD medication?  She should get checked out because that woman is all over the place.  It’s even hard to follow her confessionals!  What a hot mess.

Giada, the consumate cheerleader, attempted to dish out some tough love, but because Giada is just so damn nice, it came out sounding more like a pep talk than a wake up call as to what’s going to happen over the next few weeks if some of these issues aren’t resolved.   Giada and Linkie had a heart to heart about her confidence level, and Linkie was over the moon to figure out what “her issue” was.  Yes, confidence and behaving like she deserves to be amongst those finalists is important, but I’m not sure she really does have the cooking chops to play on that level.  Time will tell.

Bobby told Nikki that the judges felt she was insincere and rehearsed.  She didn’t apologize for it at all.  What comes off as polished to her comes off as rehearsed to the judges.  She knows it.  She owns it.  She’s like the honey badger, she doesn’t give a f*ck.  I have to say, I’m kind of proud of her for sticking to her guns, but I feel like Bob and Susie aren’t going to appreciate the fact that Nikki is deliberately not making an effort to work on the issues they see with her becoming the next Food Network Star.  But honestly, you go girl.  Your POV is wonderful.  The camera obviously loves you.  I just hope America will too, because at this moment, you’re coming off a little too cocky for your own good.

Malcolm doesn’t seem to think he needs a POV.  His cooking skills are going to win this for him.  Um…what is your show going to be about?!  They are looking, not only for someone with cooking ability and star power, but for someone to come in with a ready made plan for a show!  Malcolm is an enigma to me – one moment shining and brilliant, the next moment leaving me wondering if he rides the short bus.

It was interesting to watch Alton talk with Judson.  Obviously confused by this guy, Alton asked the simple question, “Who are you?”  Judson broke down those walls Bob and Susie had been talking about and let it all out.  Judson talks about losing 115 pounds by discovering different ways to cook with flavor.  Alton is shocked that this wonderful POV has been in Judson this entire time, and this is the first we are hearing about it…FIVE WEEKS IN!

This week each team was asked to host a live show, called “Guy Live”, with Guy Fieri in front of a live studio audience.  To me (from the comfort and safety of my own couch) this seems easy.  Guy shows us on a daily basis on Triple D that he can make even the most camera shy person bloom in front of a camera.  He can lead a conversation (if you give him enough to work with) and he has this amazing ability to make the subject (in this case the finalists) the star if you just let him!  Anyway…

Each team was assigned a theme for their show.  Alton’s team was assigned Halloween.  Absolutely perfect, since they are a team of eccentrics, and definitely the most creative bunch in the competition.  Giada’s team was assigned Game Day.  At this point, T and I looked at each other wondering why in the world they were giving themes that seemed to be tailor made to the teams.  And then came the announcement of what Bobby’s team was going to be doing: Cooking for Kids.  HA!  Apparently Malcolm has kids, but Michele and Nikki looked horrified.

Team Alton decided (without deciding) to do whatever the hell they wanted within the realm of “Halloween”.  Emily did a canned apple sauce.  It’s in season, it’s sweet and healthy, and totally jives with her rad POV.  Martie did firey chicken wings.  Not sure exactly what that has to do with Halloween, but I guess they could be served at a Halloween party?  She’s got a huge issue with creativity, and it’s only magnified by her super creative teammates.  Justin took a huge risk and decided to do fried fish bones.  He described them as both “eating fried lace” and as “potato chips of the sea”.  Sounds horrifying to me, but was definitely scary and uniquely fit the Halloween theme.  Judson, all hopped up on his newly found POV decided to do a vegetarian chili.  Again, not sure what that has to do with Halloween, but it seems like a fitting dish for fall, and an opportunity to showcase his new “world of flavor”.

Team Giada’s team took a more team-like approach, with each finalist being responsible for one dish you would have at a tailgate.  Martita did quesadillas (shocking).  Yvan wanted to do wings, but Giada pushed him to show off some of his culinary skills and show how to de-bone a chicken.  Ippy decided on teriyaki pineapple sliders.  And in true Linkie fasion, Linkie was in charge of the dessert.  I am DYING for Linkie to be put in a position to do something else.  I understand her POV is desserts (at least I THINK that’s what her POV is?), but everyone else in this competition has been stretched in some way (Martie doesn’t like Pennsylvania…oh wait, I haven’t gotten to that yet), yet Linkie seems to go on week after week without having to show much.

Team Flay had the toughest challenge.  Cooking for Kids.  They all seemed nervous, except Malcolm.  He’s volunteered for Michelle Obama’s healthy eating campaign, he has kids, this should be a walk in the park, right?  I expected Malcolm to step up a bit and take on a more leadership role this week, simply because it is a team challenge and his teammates looked horrified.  Nikki comes up with the brilliant idea of “Mindful Cooking for Kids”.  Healthy, yet tasty alternatives for children.  Seriously, if she doesn’t win this thing, Food Network would be crazy to not offer her a producing position!  Anyway, they further this concept by having Nikki cover breakfast, Michele do lunch, and Malcolm serve dinner.  Nikki decides on a green kale and banana smoothie (yikes!  This sounds like a bad plan already!) and grilled breakfast pizzas.  Michele, in an effort to redeem herself, decided to make her mom’s turkey meatballs with spaghetti squash, giving her immediate talking points and a story built in.  Good idea, Michele!  And Malcolm decided on chicken skewers.

This was the first time we’ve seen Nikki look less than polished and organized.  She forgot flour at the store, thinking it would just be in the pantry.  Kind of an important ingredient in pizza dough, right?  Linkie ended up helping her out and giving her some of her flour.  Once again, all for helping someone out, but these people do realize this is a competition, right?!  No need to be like Penny (Season 7′s resident beeyotch), but helping out other teams is a disadvantage to you!!!  Nikki’s issues didn’t end with the flour.  With 5 minutes left on the clock, she had a blender disaster with her smoothies and had to enlist the help of her teammates to get them done.

Yvan was going to de-bone a chicken, but that somehow got pushed to the wayside and he decided to do beer battered wings.  They looked delicious, yet you could tell Giada was a little disappointed.

Emily was her adorable self.  Canning away saying cute things like, “I’m Betty Crocker meets Betty Page!”  Could she be any more fabulous?!

After their hour was up, the moment of truth arrived…  It was time to do the show.

First up was Team Alton.  Everyone should have had about two and a half minutes to talk to Guy about their dish before moving on to the next finalist.  The clock starts and it’s dead silent.  They didn’t discuss how to start the show or what to do.  Justin, who had been told by Alton in his coaching session that he comes off as cocky sometimes, backfired and Justin, for the first time, seemed intimidated and scared in Guy’s presence.  He finally started talking and Guy actually tried the fish bones…and seemed to like them!  Judson really turned it out this week.  You could tell he really wanted to be there and knew he had to step up his game.  T and I thought he did superb.  Martie talked forever.  No, seriously, like FOREVER.  In fact, she babbled on so much that she ruined things for Emily, who only had one minute and 30 seconds to talk about her dish.  Emily was a great sport about it, and if she was upset or nervous that Martie’s inability to STFU cost her time, she didn’t show it.  Grace under pressure.  Emily, you are a star.

Then it was time for the judges to taste the food.  Amazingly, the judges LOVED Justin’s fish bones.  Everyone was in awe of Justin’s ability to take a theme and do a culinary mad scientist spin on it.  The issue with Justin is people are going to either love or hate him.  He doesn’t have a broad demographic.  Funny that the judges were talking about that, because just the other night, T and I had this very same discussion over cocktails on our back porch!  Judson’s chili was a little too sweet for Guy’s liking, but everyone else seemed more amazed by Judson’s new POV and wanting to discuss how they hadn’t heard about his weight issues before now.  Martie’s wings were well received, however they did discuss how she hurt her teammates by not getting to the point.  Emily’s applesauce was a huge hit.  Her star keeps getting brighter and brighter.

The judges loved Yvan’s wings and his presentation.  His ease in front of the camera, and with Guy, really showed improvement over previous weeks.  Ippy turned up the energy and excitement and did great!  The sliders got mixed reviews, but that was completely overshadowed by how well he did in the presentation.  Go Ippy!  Martita did a vegetarian quesadilla.  T and I thought she was incredibly dull, but the judges didn’t agree with us.  According to Giada, she couldn’t have been happier with Martita’s performance.  Maybe they showed a different take on TV?  Cos we both felt she really fell flat, especially with Ippy and Yvan stepping up their game!  Linkie made football cookies.  Adorable and fun, but her insecurity in front of the camera shined through yet again this week.  Linkie thought she did great.  We thought she did okay.

Nikki was flustered when it came to her turn with Guy.  She really was having an off week!  She kept blending and blending that smoothie, taking up time.  Michele asked Guy if he was her brother, which took him a little off guard, but I think the judges liked seeing that old Michele who says whatever is on her mind come back out.  Malcolm talked about letting kids play with their food, and completely missed the opportunity to connect with Guy on being a dad, or the fact that teaching healthy eating habits is important to him.  DOH!  At the end of Team Flay’s segment, they had a bunch of kids come out and taste the dishes.  The kids didn’t like Nikki’s smoothie, but Bob drank the whole thing.  Too bad the challenge was to make kid friendly dishes.

At this point, the judges throw the finalists and their mentors a curve ball.  Instead of having the weakest link from each team up for elimination, it’s the weakest team that is going to battle it out between themselves.  WHAT?!  At this point, T and I paused the show to discuss what we thought would happen.  The only team that did well as a group was Giada’s team.  Both Bobby and Alton’s teams had some serious issues, but which team would be up for elimination?

TEAM ALTON.  As sad as I was that Alton had a finalist up for elimination (again), I was thrilled at the thought of Martie going home.

The Producer’s Challenge this week involved throwing a dart at a map of the states and then coming up with a dish from that region.  Judson’s dart landed on Arkansas.  Martie was upset by getting Pennsylvania and immediately started complaining that there’s no distinguishing food from Pennsylvania.  Um, ever heard of a Philly Cheese Steak?  Or how about cream cheese?!  I’ve had enough of Martie’s inability to take what is given to her and coming up with ANYTHING!  Justin’s dart hit Nebraska, which, to me, is MUCH harder than Pennsylvania, but he didn’t complain at all.  He immediately starting thinking of things to cook.  Emily wanted the southwest and managed to hit Arizona.  Brilliant!

The finalists then had 30 minutes to prepare their dish before presenting to camera.

Martie wasted the first 10 minutes trying to figure out ANYTHING to make.  It was only at Alton’s nudging that she decided on cream cheese stuffed portobello mushrooms.  She then spent the remaining 20 minutes running around like a wild woman.  UGH!  I’m so frustrated by her!

Emily knew she wanted to do something bright and colorful, while still keeping with her 1950′s POV.  She decided on chicken posole made in a pressure cooker to decrease the time from hours to 20 minutes.  BRILLIANT!  Not many people know how pressure cookers work and showcasing her ability to use the kitchen gadget, along with her cooking prowess was ingenious.

Justin came up with a “Spaghetti Midwestern”, which was basically a calorie laden dish – carbs upon carbs upon carbs.  His thinking was that farmers in Nebraska use up a lot of energy during their hard work days and they need to ingest more calories than the average person.  Extreme?  Yes.  But then again, so is Justin.

Judson came up with the great idea of doing an oven fried catfish with cajun seasonings.  Perfect for his newfound POV, and something that most of America would want to see.  Even if you don’t like catfish, the technique of broiling, rather than frying, with all these delicious spices is something a Food Network viewer could translate to their own dinner table that evening.  Hell, I use that technique ALL the time with my oven fried chicken!

Then it was time for the finalists to present their dish to camera…

Martie was a mess.  Alton kept trying to tell her to just tell the story of the food.  She was so nervous and screwed up the rehearsals, even asking Alton if she could get a glass of water.  Flustered and a complete disaster, she seemed to pull it together for the final take, but it seemed as if it took everything in Alton’s power to pull it out of her.  This is not the level she should be at half way through the season.

Emily’s presentation wasn’t great, but it didn’t stink either.  She kept to her POV, but you could tell she was nervous, this being her first time up for possible elimination and all.

Justin’s Rebel with a Culinary Cause did great per Alton.  We didn’t really see much of his presentation since he didn’t need a ton of rehearsal.

Judson seemed to do a good job as well, but, like Justin, we didn’t get to see much of it.  My fingers were crossed he was going to come across as authentic.

When it came time to watch the videos with Bob and Susie, Justin was up first.  Wow.  He wasn’t anywhere near as good as I thought he was going to be.  He said he felt like he was smiling much more than it showed on film.  He needs to work on being more likeable.

Emily’s video seemed like she was talking a bit slow and trying to remember what she wanted to say.  She was nervous.  I get it.  She was still the best.

And then there was Martie.  Um…I hate to say it, but she did great!  I mean, it only took 4 tries and a near panic attack, but she pulled it out.

Judson’s video showed steady improvement, and with his Roadmap to Flavor POV, it seemed as if he would be safe.  He’s obviously not at the level of the other competitors just yet, but he’s definitely improving and he has such a great new POV…

Susie and Bob told Emily and Justin they were safe and to go ahead and excused them.  It was down to Martie and Judson.  T and I were sure that Martie was going to be sent home, but in a strange turn of events (the first time we have ever disagreed with who was sent home), they let Judson go.  Susie told him she felt there was bit of a “BS artist in [him]“.  T and I were SHOCKED!  I mean, neither one of them was going to make it to the final, but Martie is so obviously the weaker link.  She hasn’t improved at all, not able to take in what is said and then improve her performance.  She’s completely unoriginal, uncreative and can’t explain a simple train of thought!

Here’s hoping she goes home next week.  UGH.

Hang on to your panties, this episode of Food Network Star gets a New York Fashion Week makeover!  But it wasn’t the contestants getting made over, it was the food.  Back in the team format this week, each finalist was given a traditionally less than attractive dish (think meatloaf) and tasked with revamping it into “runway worthy” dishes.  Yeah, yeah, I get that they are wanting the contestants to take a dish that is usually ugly and turn it into something that is as pleasing to the eye as it is to the tastebuds, but listening to the judges discuss whether the dish was “runway” or not got a little ridiculous.  Here’s a breakdown of how everyone did…

Team Alton (yes, I’m starting with his team because he is my favorite):

Emily Ellyn shined like I’ve never seen her sparkly winged glasses shine before.  She was asked to make over the traditional ham steak with pineapple and maraschino cherry.  This rad girl was over the moon about this challenge since her POV is EXACTLY THIS!  And she’s picked the right POV, she was exquisite.  Her dish was beautiful and fun, and her presentation was all bubbles and glee.  But the BEST part was that she made a ham, pineapple and cherry fascinator to wear on her head while she talked her food down the isle!  Seriously!  This girl gets what it means to be a star.  Adorables.

Justin Warner was a super star yet again this week.  T has already declared Justin the winner, and questions why we have to watch the rest of the season.  He would like to go straight to watching Justin’s show of crazy cooking.  So Mr. Warner was assigned Beef Stroganoff.  There is nothing sexy about Beef Stroganoff.  But this culinary mad scientist took a huge gamble and did something incredibly whacky.  Instead of mushrooms, he made a mushroom gelatin type thing and used a very lightly seared great cut of beef.  He then laid it out in this checkerboard pattern and plated it beautifully.  Justin has not only the culinary expertise to win this competition, but he also understands the challenges on a level I don’t think may other competitors do.  His presentation was brilliant and you can tell the judges are equal parts mesmerized and astonished that this quirky kid can do all this stuff.  Alton is physically beeming to have Justin on his team.  Those two are peas in a pod.  And for his brilliant performance this week, he won $10,000 courtesy of Discover Card.

Once again Martie pissed me off.  She was assigned Tuna Noodle Casserole.  Unable to muster any creativity (I’m sure she blames it on her age), she couldn’t figure out “how to make canned tuna sexy”.  Don’t use canned tuna, you asshat!  In fact, it’s only supposed to be the inspiration for your food, not exactly your food!  She pumped up the quality of the ingredients, but that was basically it.  She baked individual casseroles in metal rings without thinking that she’s going to have to let the dish cool before she could take the rings off.  Since she ran out of time again (no doubt due to age), she had to serve them in the metal rings!  There was casserole drippings on the outside of the rings and it looked terrible.  The judges liked the taste of the dish, but commented that everything Martie does screams of pajamas and hot cocoa.  Nothing glamorous about her.  My question is how her POV can be about throwing parties when she can’t put together a dish that doesn’t look like a 6 year old was involved in the assembly?

And then there was Judson Allen.  Judson has been coasting down to the middle of the pack ever since he peaked in the first week.  His dish was a recreation of seafood alfredo.  It looked beautiful, but judging by the look on the judges faces when they were tasting it, it was awful.  Judson is really struggling with coming across as authentic.  He actually said, “Food plus fashion equals love,” and tried to make the judges believe that was one of his mottos.  Alton looked bewildered, and honestly, a little disgusted.

Team Giada had some hiccups…

Linkie Marais was given the task of making chicken pot pie fancy.  She was very creative in her puff pastry useage, which I assumed she would do given her cake decorating background, but I feel like she could have done so much more with this delightful dish.  Play with the ingredients.  Maybe don’t use chicken?  Perhaps add some unique vegetables in to give it that zsa zsa zu?  Apparently she did add a little curry to the sauce, giving it an interesting flavor combination so she’s starting to think outside the box.  As T and I were discussing her dish, I said the same thing that the judges said (God, I love it when that happens!).  I said I felt like the filling to puff pastry ratio was way off, and then in stereo, that exact sentiment was uttered by the judges.  Oh!  I’ve been so focused on how disappointed I was with her food that I forgot to mention her presentation!  Linkie had been practicing her speech “500 times” in her head, but when she got up there, she got flustered and lost her train of thought, never to recover again.  Poor Linkie.  She could use some memory training help from my dear friend, Kristin Thompson.

Yvan Lemoine mistook the judges telling him they wanted to see more personality to mean they wanted him to yell.  He completely missed the mark, yelling about how he might be from Venezuela, but he was a New Yorker.  While his performance was less than stellar, he was sitting pretty when it came time for judging because his dish to makeover was shepherd’s pie.  He made this beautiful, light as air concoction and plated it beautifully with grass on the plate and a small dish off to the side containing his version of shepherd’s pie.  the color scheme was beautiful and simple.  Not at all the heavy, stick to your ribs casserole we all know.

Martita Jara, this season’s token spicy Latina, was full of her “ay dios mio!”s and “ay yay yay”s, but for some reason, this week it worked perfectly.  It didn’t feel like she was playing into this idea of who she should be in this competition, and was just herself.  And she’s actually charming.  Martita did a variation on chicken and rice, which, to be quite honest, seemed like the easiest dish in the world for her to transform.  So Martita, you were lucky this week.  She did an extraordinary job, the food looked and tasted amazing, the plating was spectacular, and her presentation wow’d everyone.  Good job girl.  I hope you make it through another show without annoying me, because honestly, there are some other annoying people for me to focus on right now.

“Ippy” Aiona, our laid back Hawaiian, was given Salisbury steak.  He did an incredible job in the kitchen.  No one can deny that boy can cook.  Unfortunately, his laid back style is starting to wear on the judges and they are questioning whether there really is star power in him or not.  While I understand his Hawaiian laid back attitude can be misconstrued as not caring, or not really giving it his all, I think that he’s incredibly charming and I would LOVE to watch a show centered around Hawaiian food!  Unfortunately, he was one of the 2 contestants up for elimination.

I’m starting to see that Giada is incredibly sweet and nice, even when she needs to take the reigns and give some of her team criticism.  It feels like she’s trying to find the nicest way possible to say things, when really, she needs to be taking a queue from Bobby and Alton, and just telling it like it is.  Her team isn’t going to make it if she can’t get them to fix the issues the judges are having with her finalists.

And then there was Team Bobby…

Nikki Martin really stepped up her game from last week.  Being up for elimination must have lit a fire under her because she took all the critiques from the previous weeks and fixed them.  Her makeover was the pork chop.  The perfect meal for a girl who wants to have a grilling show.  Am I right?!  She spiced up the colorless meat with a beautiful red glaze, seasoned it perfectly and cooked it to perfection.  I had no doubt she was going to rock it in the kitchen.  I was much more interested to see what she would do during her presentation.  She managed to not sound rehearsed, genuine, and actually wove talking about the dish in with a bunch of fashion lingo.  Her presentation definitely fit the forum.  Bravo, Nikki.  Bravo.

I don’t know what’s going on with Michele Ragussis. She’s gone from this extremely confident chef, who spoke her mind and was so likeable, to someone who’s obviously holding back. I don’t know what’s changed. Perhaps she’s realized she’s an actual contender and she’s psyched herself out? Perhaps she thinks that her real self might be a little over the top for the judges to handle? I just don’t know. I want the Michelle who, in the very first week, described mussels as “sexy” because that and a glass of wine made her want to go home and…well, you know, back! She was adorable and spontaneous and exciting. What’s happening now is none of those. Of course her meal was impeccable. She took boring baked fish and broccoli to a new level of culinary delight (one I didn’t know was possible for such a boring dish), but it was her presentation that left the judges feeling cheated. And you know what? She’s cheating herself as well. Get it together, Michelle! You’re easily better than most of the other finalists. Just stop the negative self talk and get it done!

Malcolm Mitchell brought the swagger this week! You could tell he was having a blast. He walked out on that run way and struck a pose! It was like he knew he was meant to be there. He took boring (but delicious) meatloaf to a whole other level. If Rachel Zoe were to describe Malcolm’s couture meatloaf, she would have said he “shut it down!” (which to those of you who don’t just DIE over Ms. Zoe, “shutting it down” is high praise). You could tell he was pleased with himself. And he should be. The judges were pleased to see Malcolm come out and shine again.

And then there was Eric Lee. Dear God, why in the world is Eric Lee on this show?! I’ve got to give credit where credit is due, that man is probably one of the best chefs that’s ever been on Food Network’s airwaves, but that does NOT make him a Food Network Star! Constantly trying to over-complicate things and make as much work for himself as possible, Eric needed a specific kind of wrapper to remake his fish sticks. The world was ending when Whole Foods didn’t carry the exact brand he wanted, so he went with an entirely different kind of wrapping…I believe it was a rice wrapper. He was strapped for time (per usual) and when he went to deep fry the fish sticks, the wrapper burst open and the filling went all over the fryer. Nothing was left except this sorry excuse for a wrapper floating on the top of the hot oil. Luckily, Michele was there to save his ass with some flour and beer for him to make a beer battered fish stick. While it was super nice of Michele to give him those ingredients, and they are on the same “team”, this is, in the end, an individual competition. At what point does helping this dude who can’t plan his way out of a paper bag become enabling? As luck would have it, he pulled off another culinary treasure. The judges loved his fish sticks. But his presentation was terrible and he’s really not made for TV. The judges realized this and sent his ass up for elimination against Ippy.

The Producer’s Challenge was strictly about presentation. The challenge was to describe french toast. Things went from bad to worse for Eric. It was painfully obvious that he can’t grasp the idea of what a food network star does. Eric understands the idea of weaving a story in, but can’t seem to execute. It felt awkward, as if he were going through a checklist of what he thought a “good” presentation should be. Introduce myself, check. Say what the dish is. French toast, check. Make some reference to my mom making this, check. Describe the components of the dish. Bread, marscapone cheese, strawberry compote, check. He went through is video challenge the same way he works in the kitchen – frantically and without a plan.

Ippy, on the other hand, did surprisingly well. Even turning up the excitement he was really laid back. However, he actually took a bite of the french toast and spent the entire time describing the taste, which, if you will remember, was the challenge. He was insightful, funny (he took way too big of a bite on camera), and made me crave french toast at 10:30pm!

T and I knew at that moment poor Eric was going to be eliminated. And just like every week, Bob and Susie called it right. So long Eric. Please make sure we know what winery you end up at. I definitely want to eat at your restaurant. Just don’t come out and try to talk to me. I fear the conversation would be awkward.

*photos courtesy of FoodNetwork.com*

I know, I know…I’m late on this post.  I’m sorry guys.  Things have gotten crazy around here.  T’s been working insane hours at work on a new project, I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off at work as well, we’re in the process of some home renovations (dear God, I cannot wait to enjoy the haven that will be my 2 new bathrooms…), we went out of town for my sister and brother-in-law’s amazeballs 70′s party (don’t worry, I’ve got pictures), and our pool has been open.  It’s really hard to concentrate when the only place you want to be is here:

Anyway, better late than never, right?

So episode 3 had our finalists doing the dessert version of Chopped.  The finalists had much easier ingredients than the normal chefs on Chopped, but it was no less intimidating to cook for such incredibly tough judges.  In what has so far been a “team” competition, the judges turned the tables by making this an individual competition, with the weakest link from each team up for elimination.  This episode really really separated the pretenders from the contenders and really cemented who I like and don’t like.

Team Alton was the first up on the chopping block…

Emily Ellyn was pure perfection as she stuck to her POV of “making 50′s food rad”.  She made brilliant chocolate panchetta cupcakes that looked delicious and was praised by the judges not only for her food, but for her calm collected capabilities while the rest of the group ran around like idiots.  Good going Ellen!  You are still one of my favorites.

Judson Allen made a strange corn cake that wasn’t cooked through.  Honestly, I don’t remember much about him this episode, not because I didn’t watch the episode with the utmost enthusiasm, but rather he was kind of unmemorable.  T & I got a huge laugh over the fact that he said he was nervous doing desserts because it reminded him of when he used to be fat.  Um…you aren’t eating the desserts, dude.  And desserts are awesome to make.  I make them all the time and send them off to work with T to make his office jealous that he’s married to someone with my cooking chops and to make sure they don’t lose too many lbs (I’m awful, I know).  Any who, the judges praised him for letting his guard down while addressing the judges and they felt like they were starting to see the “real” Judson, whatever that means.

Justin Warner was the kid that really impressed me this week.  This boy was all over the place.  He tried to melt Hershey Kisses with the wrappers on, he burned chocolate chips in the microwave, he looked like he didn’t have a prayer.  But there was method to his madness, and at the end of the day, he was the one who shined.  His easy going presentation made him instantly likeable, and the judges realized that not only was he someone to watch out for in the competition, but someone people at home would want to watch.  I love you Justin, red lips and all.

And then there was Martie Duncan, who, for some reason, decided that age was a serious limitation this week.  She made s’mores.  Yup, you read it right.  She made s’mores.  I suppose that fits her POV of party food that doesn’t have to be scary or time consuming, but she spent 30 minutes making s’mores that should have taken no less than 15 minutes…at most.  And she barely got the s’mores plated!  They looked like something my college roommates would whip up in our kitchen at 2:00am after the bars closed.  Then she rambled on and on, apologizing for herself, her age, everything.  We never heard what made her s’mores special.  Needless to say, the judges decided she was the finalist from Team Alton up for chopping.

Next up was Team Giada…

Josh Lyons was his usual mess.  He completely overshot the mark, wanting to make a Dutch Asian infusion dessert that looked ridiculous.  I can’t even remember what it was supposed to be.  And then he behaved like an idiot when it was his turn to present to the judges.  He was all over the place, talking about being a rockstar, etc.  Ugh.

Martita Jara was equally annoying in my book.  I don’t remember what she made.  Probably because T and I spent so much time talking over her about how annoying we find her.

Ippy Aiona was his usual laid back, charming Hawaiian self and the judges loved him.  I love him.

Linkie Marais is all about desserts…in fact, I don’t think she’s had a challenge yet that wasn’t a dessert.  She did excellent.  However, I think the true test is going to be when she has to actually cook something!  I don’t know if she has what it takes or not.

Yvan Lemoine was adorable, but Giada suggested he turn his POV from Small Bites to Family Style, since that is what he loves to talk about and where his inspiration comes from.

Wow…I’m just now realizing that I don’t remember much of Team Giada.  I guess that’s because her team is just not as good as the others.  Ippy and Yvan can stay, but the rest need to exit stage right as soon as possible.

So the judges, in their infinite wisdom put Josh up for elimination, and hopefully out of the viewer’s mind forever.

Last to open their baskets was Team Bobby…

Eric Lee made a lovely dessert.  (Jesus!  Why can’t I remember what anyone cooked other than Team Alton?!  I guess you know who my favorite team is!)  He stuck with his whole “everything from scratch” POV, but there’s just something about him that rubs me the wrong way.  I’m pretty sure he was that annoying kid in class.  You know, the one that always had to raise their hand, always asked questions to hear themselves talk, and tried their hardest to be the teacher’s pet?  Yeah, he’s that guy.  He looks like an amazing chef, and I absolutely want to go have dinner at whatever winery he ends up cooking at next, but I have no interest in watching a show about him cooking.

Malcolm Mitchell is one of my favorites.  Not because he’s got something particularly interesting and different about him, but I just want to be his friend.  And I like his hair.  The judges told him they felt like he was a little too mellow this week and wanted to see more of the Malcolm that busted with enthusiasm on the Foodie Tour Challenge.

Michele Ragussis has been one of my faves since the beginning. Again, I can’t remember what she made, but she showed, without a doubt, that she knows her way around a kitchen, and has a confidence about her that is undeniable.  A Food Network Star NEEDS to be confident, and boy, does she have that in spades.

And then there is Nikki Martin.  The judges felt like they have yet to see an authentic person, and honestly…I agree.  She’s lovely and eloquent when speaking, but it feels cold and rehearsed.  Not like someone inviting a friend over for a cooking lesson.  She definitely was at a disadvantage in this challenge because desserts is not her forte, but the issue really seems to be with her personality, not her cooking.  The judges decided they had had enough of the smooth talker and voted her up for elimination.

So we had Marnie (the geriatric rambler), Josh (the moronic rockstar) and Nikki (the fake as silicone cheerleader) up for elimination.  The producer’s challenge was to bring grilling indoors.  Marnie made some kind of lime marinated grilled tuna, Josh made some random free form meatball, and Nikki KILLED it with steak.

At the elimination, it was obvious that Nikki was going to be safe.  In fact, they told her and Bobby to go ahead and pack up and go back to their team, leaving Josh and Marnie.  The judges had a tough task.  Do they send Josh or Marnie home?  Neither of them is going to win, that much is certain.  And how much longer can a viewer stand watching either one of them?  In the end it was Josh’s turn to go home.  Everyone looked relieved…even Giada.  No amount of coaching on her part could make him a Food Network Star.  I certainly hope his music skills are better than his cooking skills…although I find that doubtful.

*photos courtesy of foodnetwork.com*

“Culinary Vaporization” – two words that sound super odd together.  But trust me, it’s the latest thing.  Chefs across the country are using a method of vaporization to infuse aromas into food.  Don’t worry, I thought it was bizarre when I first heard about it as well.

Turns out flavor is a combination of taste AND smell.  We know this to be true because when we have a cold, food tastes bland because our sense of smell is wonky.  So when you think about creating a dish, you can manipulate the flavor by adjusting the aroma.  Molecular gastronomy chefs are using the vapor genie to infuse food grade essential oils to enhance the flavor of their dishes.

What I find most fascinating about this movement is the ability to evoke a desired effect, whether it be a memory, a feeling, or even a season, by simply infusing food with the aroma of something like lavender, citrus, firewood, grass or leather.  These brilliant chefs are trying to take your dining experience to a whole different level that will be unique to each diner, even if they order the same dish.  Think about it, say two patrons order steak.  That steak is infused with citrus peel and firewood.  One of those diners might pick up on the firewood and instantly be transported back to their childhood with memories of watching their dad grill steaks over a campfire.  The other might pick up on the citrus notes and remember the orange groves they visited once.  Both are having steak, and both are enjoying the steak, but the experience of the steak is different.  Crazy, right?!

At some point, I’m going to have to pick up one of these awesome vapor genies and play with aroma infusing food and messing with my dinner guests’ heads!

The other night, I had a dream I was one of the finalists on the Next Food Network Star, and I won my camera challenge with my chicken pot pie.  I woke up in the morning knowing I must make my chicken pot pie for dinner that evening.  Now I know what you’re thinking, “Chicken Pot Pie is what won her the camera challenge?!”  Well yeah.  In my dream I get to win.  Oh, and my chicken pot pie is the BEST I’ve ever had…and I almost ALWAYS order the chicken pot pie if it’s on a restaurant’s menu, so I know a thing or two about chicken pot pie.

Chicken pot pie is a perfect dish in my house because T & I have such different culinary tastes, I can make 2 different fillings very easily and create individual pies with ingredients made specifically for each person.  I absolutely love the Le Creuset 16-Ounce French Onion Soup Bowls.  They are perfectly oversized without being ridiculous.  Use them for soups, salads, ice cream, chili…whatever you want.  Once you get a set, I swear you will not know what you used before you had them.

The recipe I’m sharing is my basic recipe, and I change the filling ingredients based on who’s pot pie it is.

(This recipe makes one 9-inch pie…or a little more than 2 Le Creuset Soup Bowls worth.  Here’s a hint: you can actually get 4 Soup Bowl Pot Pies out of the filling if you only fill it up about 3/4 of the way.  It’s still way more than a hearty portion.  I promise.)

WHAT YOU NEED FOR EVERY POT PIE:

• 4 Tablespoons Butter (1/2 a stick)
• 2 Cups Cooked Chicken, cut into bit sized chunks (I roast chicken breasts in the oven, but you could just as easily pick up a roasted chicken from your local supermarket’s deli section and save yourself some time)
• 1/4 Cup All Purpose Flour (you might need a few more tablespoons of flour, depending on your desired sauce thickness.  I like my sauce thick and saucy)
• 2 Cups Low Sodium Chicken Broth (I use the low sodium version because I like to have control over the amount of salt I put in.  Don’t worry, it’s not going to be bland.  I promise!)
• 1 Chicken Bouillon Cube, crushed
• 1 Cup Heavy Cream
• 1 Teaspoon salt, or more to taste
• FreshGround Black Pepper, to taste
• 1 teaspoon ground thyme (optional)
• Frozen Puff Pastry Sheets (one sheet for a 9-in pan or for 2 Le Creuset Soup Bowls, or 2 sheets for 4 Soup Bowls)
• 1 egg & 1 Tablespoon water, for egg wash

VEGETABLE IDEAS FOR YOUR POT PIE:

• 3 Celery Stalks, finely diced
• 3 medium Carrots, finely diced
• 1 large yellow onion, finely diced
• 1/2 Cup frozen peas

OR…

• 1 Large Baking Potato, diced into bite sized chunks about the same size as the chicken, parboiled
• The Kernels from 2 Ears of Fresh Sweet Corn, or 1/2-3/4 Cup of Frozen Corn Kernels
• 1 large Vidalia onion, finely diced

OR WHATEVER YOU WANT!  You could use whatever is in season.  Squash…Sweet Potato…whatever strikes your fancy.  (I used potatoes, fresh corn cut straight from the cob, and onions in these particular pies, but I LOVE the combo of celery, carrots, onions and peas!)

HOW TO MAKE:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Take the Puff Pastry out of the freezer and lay out to thaw (takes 30-45 minutes before it’s useable)

Melt butter in a large pot or Dutch oven.  Saute your vegetables of choice for a couple minutes, or until the onions turn translucent.

Add the chicken and stir to combine.

Sprinkle 1/4 cup flour evenly over the vegetable and chicken mixture.  Stir to combine and cook for a couple minutes, frequently stirring.

Pour in the low sodium chicken broth.  Stir well.  Stir in the crushed chicken bouillon cube.

Cook for a few minutes.  The chicken stock will combine with the flour, creating the beginnings of the most creamy gravy ever.

Pour in the heavy cream and stir.

Allow the mixture to cook over low heat.  The sauce will thicken gradually, but if after about 5 minutes, it’s not as thick as you would like, sprinkle in a little more flour, stir and allow to thicken to your desired consistency.

Add your salt, pepper and thyme (if using).  Taste and adjust seasonings as necessary.  I usually end up adding a pinch or two more of salt, depending on what veggies I’m using.

Pour the chicken mixture into your pie pan, 8×8 casserole dish, OR into the individual dishes.

Cut your puff pastry according to size (I like to make mine hang over the edges.  It just looks so fancy!) and place on top of your filling filled dishes.  Make sure to cut a hole in the top of the pastry to let air escape.

Whisk egg and tablespoon of water in a small bowl.  Using a pastry brush, brush top of crust with egg wash.  This will make it a beautiful golden brown color when it’s done baking.

Bake for 30 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown and the filling is bubbling.  Assuming you don’t want to burn your taste buds off, you’ll need to let the pie cool for about 10 minutes before serving.

Shovel into face.  Repeat.